Pizza Rolls and Nightmares

Posted in What We Like!

The Information Superhighway is a term that I don’t hear that much anymore.  Maybe it’s because superhighways aren’t as impressive as “the Internet,” but more likely it’s that everyone is grumblingly accepting the fact that the internet isn’t really being used for ‘informational purposes.’

MIT has a bazillion textbooks online for free in PDF format. The Library of Congress has something similar and possibly more comprehensive. I say possibly because I don’t really know. Like post people, I use the internet for social networking, streaming free entertainment, and visiting forums where likeminded individuals pat each other on the back for being right about everything.

It’s a little depressing when you really think about it. That’s why I’m not going to that much, instead, I’m going to praise the Totino’s Tim & Eric Pizza bites ad that went on Youtube this week.

Oh yes. There it is in all it’s terror.

Every time I see an ad online, 9/10 times it’s like stumbling onto a free textbook instead of a buzzfeed list. How to build an actual robot? Who has time for that? Show me my list of “All time sexiest robots from the 1980’s, Please.”  It’s jarring to go from a gallery of realistic birds with photoshopped human arms to an actual advertisement that presumes our minds are operating in the real world.

After I watched the infamous “4chan Killer” thread unfold, I read people complaining about Ebola losing steam. Complaining because their anime-version of the virus must be sad about it. Then I watching a scathing exchange between several people about whether or not Taylor Swift was justified in pulling her music out of Spotify.  I was already feeling depressed about the world, and pondering writing a post about ‘things I don’t like,’ until I realized this: I saw dozens of ads during all of this, but remembered only one. They didn’t fit into the world of the nightmare internet. But this one, this Totino’s ad, it’s part of that nightmare.

Does it sell pizza roll’s? It might. I usually spend my Friday afternoons eating frozen fish sticks and watching movies. It’s kind of like meditation, only the opposite.

This weekend I ate Pizza Roll’s instead.